GOTTA HAVE THE FUNK
By Alan Goldfarb
Oct. 9, 2022
We want the funk. We need the funk. We gotta have the funk. Parliament Funkadelic knew all about the funk, and so did Ben Harper when he gave us everybody’s got ‘em, the funk that is. So, what’s the problem funky natural wine people? You don’t like funky? Be careful what you wish for. When you began hyping hands-off wine, you shoulda known there was gonna be funk. And to me, that’s a good thing.
Consider: kimchee, cabbage rolls, Gorgonzola, fermented black beans, fermented anything, then throw in some garlic full sour pickles and durian and then some Dylan vocals, and Dirty Al Hrabosky and whatta ya got?
2 DISPARATE, CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTERS’ IMPACT ON WINE
My Journalistic Reportage with Franzia & Starr
By Alan Goldfarb
Sept. 17, 2022
The Modesto bar and restaurant where Fred Franzia hung out I was told, was crowded with drinkers and diners. Franzia was not among them on this early night. Another source told me where he lived. So, I “staked out” the house in the countryside – binoculars trained on the ranch-style building. But after about an hour, Franzia was nowhere in sight. And on the day in 2005 the Franzia “Truth in Labeling” case had been heard at the California Supreme Court, which he lost, I spotted Fred getting into an elevator. I got in after him. It was Fred & Me. No one else. Hey Fred, what did you think of today’s hearing? I don’t remember if he said anything, but I think he said nothing. He refused to talk to me.
Those are my memories of the notorious Fred Franzia, who died last week.
NEXT, THEY’LL COME FOR THE NEWSPAPERS
A Fearful Screed on the Great Journalism Die Off
By Alan Goldfarb
Sept. 13, 2022
First, they came for the news racks on the street, most filled with penny-shoppers and porn papers. Most of us ignore them. But they’re first amendment documents. They clutter sidewalks, most with broken glass and oozing with city detritus. Next, they’ll come for the daily newspaper racks. And then, they’ll come for the newspapers.
You can’t blame me for sounding the alarm about what is The Great Newspaper Die Off and soon We’re All Gonna Not Know What the Hell is Going On, for Real. And so, I’m a newspaper alarmist on several levels.
MYTHS OF THE SPECTATOR
From a PR Perspective
By Alan Goldfarb
Sept. 6, 2022
Thank goodness this doesn’t happen very much any longer, but it used to be the first question every prospective PR client would ask was, “Can you get me in the Spectator?”. Yeah, sure, why not?
Perhaps it doesn’t happen as often any longer because maybe The Wine Spectator’s influence is waning as the world’s wine demographic trends younger. But the “S” word question lingers, followed by me saying, “It’s not going to be easy, but of course, I’ll try.” Followed by them saying, “I hear ya gotta pay to get in there.”
That is an absolute myth, bubbemeises and horsepucky as Colonel Potter used to say (look it up). I know for a fact that one can pay through the nose to the good folks at the Spectator – and it unequivocally will get you bupkes.
WHO WILL SAVE THE DAY NOW FOR NAPA?
Before It’s Too Late for the Napkins to Figure it Out
By Alan Goldfarb
August 9, 2022
Item: Dave Chappelle Gets Grumpy About Napa Noise Ordinance, Insists On Going Past Curfew Twice at Blue Note Jazz Fest
• Sfist, August 8, 2022
Item: Napa County Residents, Tourists React Following Legionnaires' Disease Outbreak
• NBC Bay Area, August 5, 2022
Item: The New Napa: Yadkin Valley Wine Country
• Town Carolina Magazine, August 1, 2022
Item: Napa Valley has perfected one type of wine. But is it starting to all taste the same?
• San Francisco Chronicle, July 27, 2022
It seems as though the end of days is coming for America’s most iconic wine region. Maybe it’s because Napa Valley has taken it in the shorts lately. But in my experience – going back to the late ‘70s – Napkins are a resilient bunch.