IF I GOT THE CONSTELLATION-CURRY PR ACCOUNT

IF I GOT THE CONSTELLATION-CURRY PR ACCOUNT

A Hoop Dream Campaign? Not So Fast

BY ALAN GOLDFARB

June 27, 2023

This is my official pitch to become the PR director for Constellation Brands: If I’m lucky enough – and grovel enough – I’m proposing to call the campaign, “The Six Degrees of Separation World Tour” and How I Handle the Curry/The Prisoner Alliance (Or Not).

To wit: I will sit the hologram of Bob Mondavi down in a room specially constructed on the border that straddles To Kalon and Tokolan, and have the Mondavigram smack dab next to the real-life live Wardell Stephen Curry. The latter of whom will be sitting next to his wife Ayesha and sister Sydel – the founders of the Domaine Curry brand. Andy Beckstoffer will be peeping in through an especially made knothole, that for legal purposes (ooh you can count on loads of legal purposes for this event), is situated decidedly on the Tokolan side. (I’ll leave it up to you dear reader to figure out how to spell the T-word; and which entity spells which, what way.)

And then to paraphrase Brandin Podziemski’s father (for those of you who sat through the 19^th pick in the NBA draft, you’ll know what I’m talking about), “… and we get to play alongside Steph Curry?! Whew!”

And if I get the account – which by the way will be a flack’s dream account (or not) – I too will not only get to play alongside Steph … but Ayesha, too!

Not to be overlooked is the great Bob Mondavi, even if he’s been reduced to a holographic image of himself. Even at this late stage, he’ll be talking about drinking wine in moderation. Of course, in hologram too, will be Margrit Mondavi (oh yes, she’ll be there too, next to Ayesha and Sydel). Margrit’s charm and grace will be charmed by the grace and charm of Ayesha Curry and the latter’s her sister-in-law.

Seated at the table too, will be Bob Thompson, who will come out of retirement as the maintenance man for the Thompson Family Estate, especially for this event; and Dan Berger, another senior curmudgeon, who like Thompson, leads the league in journalistic truth-telling. And what can you expect, by likely mandates from Constellation, (and reluctantly from me), there will sure to be a couple of influencers, who won’t know much about wine, but boy do they know how to influence. Which is the point, right?

Constellation is saying that it is proud to partner with Ayesha Curry and Sydel Curry-Lee (who is Steph’s sister and the wife of Steph’s former teammate and brother-in-law Damion Lee).

On the surface, what a dream campaign for a media relations guy such as me, to be attached. All those names. All those stars. It will add up to a slam dunk and a turnaround jump shot. Ink? You bet I’ll be able to get press out of this baby.

But one thing nags at me. Remember when media types were grousing about the brand name, The Prisoner? The scribes didn’t think it was a good look to have a wine brand that displayed “romanticism” of the inmate life.

Constellation has folded the Domaine Curry brand into its The Prisoner Wine Company entity. Maybe not the best strategy.

So how do I, as the PR point person on this campaign plan to pole vault any queries from the media on the Curry-Prisoner partnership? First, I’ll point out that the Curry brand is a worthy and a sterling addition to the Constellation portfolio. No question. Then I’ll fumfer and stammer some more. And then admit: I don’t know.